We had to take this personality quiz, and in one of the questions, we had to choose which superpower we would prefer:
A) Flying
B) X-ray vision
C) Superhuman strength
D) ESP
E) Invisibility
Ok, we didn’t have to take it, we just did because we were bored. But this question, it sucked the boredom right out of me, because it was really hard. I got stuck on D and E. ESP vs. Invisibility. That’s huge.
We thought very seriously about the pros and cons of the two superpowers. How exactly were they defining ESP? That made the decision so much harder. Was it ESP meaning that we could see the future, or ESP meaning that we could read people’s minds? Or was it both, and if so, would we be able to control the reading of the mind part? Because what if you couldn’t, and then everytime you got on the metro, everyone got all up in your head at once? That would drive you crazy really fast. Plus, I don’t really want to know what people think about me. I figure there’s a reason we have an inner monologue, so we should keep it that way.
My friend’s husband pointed out that if you could make yourself invisible, then everytime a shitty co-worker looked they were going to talk to you, you could be like, “There’s Fred, that jackass,” and just disappear before Fred got to your cube. That seemed quite appealing. Only then I would just get lazy and disappear all the time, Fred or no Fred. I would use it as a tool for avoidance.
We’ve discussed this superpower business before, only we were only talking about being able to teleport people places, and make them naked when they get there, or being able to set shit on fire with our eyes. ESP and invisibility weren’t contenders. This made things much more complicated.
And even though I think the naked teleporting would be a really good superpower, there wasn’t a write-in box or anything sort of “other” option. I thought that showed a general lack of creativity and forethought on their part.
But the quiz we were taking was for the CIA, so I stopped thinking that right away. Because they probably already have people who can read your mind, and they probably were doing it right then, and they probably shoot you on sight for thinking bad things or something.
That’s probably also why they want to know what superpower you would want to have. There’s just doing an inventory. Because maybe they already have enough mind-readers and they are in need of a few invisible people.
I finally chose invisibility.
I feel like it’s a supply/demand thing. You can never have a shortage of invisible people when you are running an international spy ring.
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Powered by WordPress
Actually, I just figured it out.
It’s a cheap form of a polygraph test. Since they have mind-readers at the CIA, they know your answer before you do.
They’re just finding out if you lie or not. It’s an integrity test.
(We should invent one of these for when you go to a bar to look for men.)
Genius. I have GOT to get hired at the CIA.
YOU WANT TO HIRE ME DON’T YOU, CIA? BECAUSE I JUST PROVED I THINK LIKE YOU.
Flying.
It’s also a test of liability. Possessing any of the superpowers A-D, they know they can handle you. They build shit for those exact reasons.
If you can fly they can shoot you down. If you have x-ray vision they can take away your eyes. If you have superhuman strength that doesn’t mean you’re not suceptable to technology and ginormous machines. And even if you could read their minds and new when they were going to come after you, they’d have thought of that first, and everyone knows that ESP is disruptable by the force field of stupidity they are erecting at this very moment all over the world. Now assuming that invisibility carries with it the ability to be undetectable even by night-vision or infrared technology, or anything else they’ve been using to find stars and planets in outter space, then they can’t get to you, obviously because they can’t see you.
The only acceptable SUPERpower is the ability to bend the will of men, exhibited by the most salacious of women, though not possible even for Bruce Almighty. (And yes, I was using men as the plural form for men and women, but it works even better that way.)
I need a nap… and then a drink…
Just found my way over here, and may i be the 312th person to state how happy i am that mela’s continuing her enlightening, entertaining and inspiring blog…
Me, too.
Mom
As choices of superpowers go, most of those are pretty pedestrian. I don’t know that I share your passion for naked teleporting, but it certainly presents a wider realm of intriguing possibilities than most of these. Sure, flying would be cool for awhile, but once the novelty wore off would it really be worth the sun damage you’d get whizzing around above the clouds? Plus there is no mention of how fast one would be able to fly, but I’m thinking teleporting (though not necessarily of the naked variety) would be a much more efficient form of transportation and make much less of a spectacle of you. X-Ray vision has to be the most overrated superpower ever. It’s not like it lets you see what’s going on around the world. If I want to see what’s going on the other side of my cubicle wall, it’s not that big a deal to just walk the three steps. But I really don’t want to see, thus I kill time pondering stuff like this. Superhuman strength would be good for winning bar bets, but once word got around, anytime anyone needed furniture moved, you know who they’d call. Not to mention the whole new avenue of harrassment it would open up for the girlfriend.
“You have superhuman strength, yet you can’t carry your dishes to the sink when you’re finished?”
“All those muscles of steel, you’d think you’d be able to open that closet door and put your clothes away”.
“So you carried your brother’s futon up to his 3rd floor walk-up with one hand, yet you can’t carry on a sexual encounter for more than 4 minues…”
ESP would be pretty cool, but I find that most people give themselves away sooner than later if you observe carefully enough. Mind reading ability would just make me lazy. And if ESP means seeing the future, what good does that do, unless you can also change it? If I’m going to fall down a manhole tomorrow morning and be eaten by mutant rats, I’d rather be surprised. At least that way I can enjoy Game 1 of Utah/Golden State tonight.
So I guess, by process of emilination, invisibility it is. No real down side there, assuming you can turn it on and off at will. And you would never have to pay for another cover charge or movie ticket again…
O.C.T.- dude, you have crushed my groove. Get offa my cloud!
Flying- get stuck in traffic? No. Get harrassed by officers of the law? No. Do some free fallin’? Yes. Feel the wind in all of your hairs? Yes.
I don’t wanna fly above the clouds up in the atmosphere, I wanna fly just above the treetops and see all the ants marching.
i’d fly. to hell with commuting.
superhuman strength would just be freakish.
(p.s. your menu at the top isn’t working)
Ok, here’s my take on superpowers. (I know, who cares really? but whatevs)
Superpowers are an allegory for how we’d like to be. The selection reveals insights of one’s psyche.
A) Flying - people who have trouble traveling/being places on time. Also feel to unconstrained.
B) X-ray vision - those who seek to know what’s hidden. But i agree with OCT that this is more an auxillary power. Being able to see clairvoyantly would be better.
C) Superstrength is for those with no control. It’s the fantasy of being able to beat the bullies you couldn’t in childhood. (Incredible Hulk plotlines center around his being an abused child)
D) ESP is for all my evil ex-girlfriends since they all obviously knew more about what I was thinking.
E) Invisibilty is somewhat untrustworthy in character, as in you have something to hide. I’d never find out were I Invisible, as I’d never make it out of the women’s locker room.
Fill in the blank answer: shapechanging, lets out a more mercurial personality.
BUT, close runner up - magneto shit, just for the benefit on parallel parking.
You know, the CIA reads all of this. It’s a test.