Everything that honeybees do rocks the free world. And the oppressed world, the developing world, countries in transition, failed or failing states as determined by USAID criteria, and Canada, also referred to as “America’s Hat.”
Recently, I have begun using Burt’s Bees line of facial products. They are made with honey, oranges and royal jelly. Royal jelly is this stuff that worker bees feed to the queen bee, and it the reason the queen lives 40 times longer and is 50 percent bigger than her minions.
That means that my face is going to live 40 times longer than the rest of me and will be 50 percent bigger in no time.
So watch out.
As a side not, there are going to be a lot of spam comments to deal with because of the title of this post. Spam comments suck. They rarely actually show up on the site, but they get e-mailed to me and I have to confirm they are spam. All 50 million of them. Everyday. That’s just another reason it’s really hard to be me.
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all right sports fans, watch this one. I told you I earn my living writing and editing:
Mela,
You are our queen and golden princess at the same time. Royal jelly, which you well deserve as only the best, will just serve to enhance your most alluring features.
Your face will always be beautiful and will stop all traffic as we stand in adoration. Your loyal subjects all appreciate your efforts at beauty, but I know that even in the cold light of the morning after, you continue to shine.
It may be hard to be you, but we are all glad you are here for us.
Haircutter–top this!
Ray
MelaBee,
Royal Jelly, Melabee
Lovely fuzzy queen decree
of a thousand workers idolatry.
The very loyal petite bourgeoisie.
Mak Fischer,
good work!
Ray
Something, something, do it in the butt… with royal jelly
November,
You are very focused. However, we are talking about Mela being concerned about her face being bigger, not other parts of her body.
I avoid the question entirely, Mela’s face is pretty big already.
Mak, do me next!
what i mean is: charm me with your melodic, delicate turns of phrase a la your above whimsical ode to “Melabee.” please do me!
worship me, baby ….
Wow to all of you drones!! Well done! Ray, with flowing shiny gold imagery, beautifully arranged words. Mak has the beat and swagger, Muhammed Ali of prose. And darn you, Mr. November, something something WITH ROYAL JELLY, a girl swoons.
neko, I’m sure are a goddess of Mela Proportion!
Just wait til I start putting the royal jelly on my boobs. That’s going to be awesome.
Response to Mela–post the pictures!!!
Response to Neko:
Neko, Neko, Neko
It’s all about Neko
Sweet as sugar on the tongue
Hot to the touch as the blazing summer sun
I’d have fun doing Neko!
I love Burt’s Bees! Have you tried the Citrus Facial Scrub? It’s great, but I wouldn’t use it for anal lube. Although some people may be into that.
That’s what I’m using you guys! And the Radiance Day Cream, Radiance Night Cream and Radiance Eye Cream, all with Royal Jelly. It’s awesome you guys!!! I’m totally hooked on it.
I presume you’re using all of this stuff on your face and not on your A. I bet you’re just radiant, you guys. Zel said (directed at you, not me): “I’ve got your Royal Jelly right here.”
You wont have to worry about becoming an X-Men character just yet. All the bees are dying, so there will be no more royal jelly, and therefore, no more Cream for the face.
Hmm…I have to disagree. I’ve tried Burt’s Bees, but I found most of the products too greasy for my liking.
Aside from that, they tasted great.
The Garden Tomato bar is wonderful on toast.
yo ray !
i /totally/ dig being worshipped (by total strangers) via the cybersphere! i’m loving being loved.
(now, i’m sure mel’s used to it, being the famous ex-CP sex columnist & all, but we bit-players (bloglings?) could always use a little lovin’ every now & then, too … )
bring it on!