Also, listen to yourself.

That’s generally always right, too.

But if that’s in doubt, just ask Mela if your Self is right.

She’ll know.

All Oedipal references aside my Dad always used to tell us boys “respect your Mother” as we got older (past the parents don’t know what they’re talking about phase) he told us that that the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife…again all references to Freudian theories excluded. Although not always easy to verify in the earliest stages of a relationship definitely use the “Mom” litmus test down the road…and of course the creepy Freudian references.

I will concur with M007, Mela is truth.

13. He doesn’t let you read important papers — like previous divorce papers, custody papers, bank records — he just tells you about them. But deep down, you know something just doesn’t add up. He’s a lying bastard — make your escape quickly.

You’re so not doomed. I refuse to believe that anyway, because I have to.

I highly recommend the book Mela recommends (because Mela is right), “How to Spot a Dangerous Man.” It’s like a manual for how to avoid them, and for who their prey are.

Also, therapy. Therapy is good. It’s made me a semi genius.

Though not as genius as Mela. I think you have to go to school for that.

Good luck, and you’re not alone, nor are you doomed. For serious.

“Hope in the face of reasons not to hope is a clear waste of time. But it took me years to learn that.

I learned, despite my desire to be open-minded and nonjudgemental, that the writing is usually on the wall - and often very early.

It was only when I started being a little more judgemental and walking away early (which not coincidentally happened at the same time I determined to have more respect for myself) that I found the man who is so, so right for me.

Being open-minded and nonjudgemental does not mean ignoring the writing on the wall or making excuses or creating acceptable stories for why someone behaves badly.

That’s the kind of hope that is a waste of time.”

I rarely plug books, as it’s the social version of assigning homework. However, this directly addressing the question of repeat customers in one’s dating patterns. And, I personally think it’s awesome. So there. Feel free to disagree, but if you’re serious about trying to figure out why you’re with the same person over and over:
Keeping the Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, PhD.

He’s got a million versions, for couples, singles whatever.

15. She says she is not into money before asking what line of work you are in.

16. She works at CVS but has an authentic Prada handbag, 60 inch flat screen tv, and her two ex boyfriends on speed dial.

17. He/She calls you more than 10 times a day to tell you they love you.

18. Leave you messages wondering why you dont answer every time they call.

19. He lists Ike Turner as his idol.

20. She lists Glenn Close her idol.

17.

22. Sits outside of the store you work in at the mall, and just watches you work.