Mela,
Glad for the message–at least we are assured that you havn’t disappeared into the sunset or are tied up in someone’s basement (ugh!).

We mere peons and worshippers at your feet will try to carry on in your absence. It won’t be easy, but we will do our best, knowing that the all-knowing and all-beautiful Mela is still watching over us.

Mela- what kind of bug?

Mela - Was it a boy bug or a girl bug?

*ahem*

ray: here i thought I was your object d’amor. now, this is mel’s blog & all, and the only reason we have a corner of the blogosphere to smoke & joke is because of her kind indulgence of our yammerings. but kindly throw some of that lovin’ my way.

please ?

oh yeah: nasty gross bugs suck. especially the ones out there in the Homeland who camp out in your hair. the ones on my ceiling arent so great either.

since this isn’t an official melapress post I’ll ask a question I’ve wanted to ask for a while.

Neko… are you, or are you related to Neko Case? ‘Cus that would be awesome.

Dude … no, i’m not Neko Case; sorry to disappoint. but: you’ll be happy to know i’m the very next best thing. i am a neko !

(p.s. just to confirm: you are a dude, right?)

damn it… no offense.

And yes, I am a dude. Kinda. Sometimes. I guess it depends on the definition of “dude.”

I just use the name because it’s funny (for me) to watch people reply to me or reference me as “dude.” It can make even the most poignant statements read a little funny.

And The Big Labowski was a really good movie.

Dude- I could so go for a White Russian now that you mention it.

Or any kind of man….eoe and all!

“Not a man, a way of life”–Lebowski

Oh dear sweeet Neko you are still the one for me.
I just like to give Mela her “props”, for after all, she is the one who sets the scene for our trysts.

Like the song said, “you are always on my mind.”

And, I am a dude all the time. Like I once said, I know who I am.

Something to do in D.C. coming up in November- the month, not the man…

“It’s completely true (and somewhat surprising), The Woodbox Gang has been officially booked to perform at the prestigious Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington DC on November 29, 2007 at 6pm. We’re not opening for anybody, nor are we a part of a larger bill of artists. We’re actually playing our own show, which will be FREE TO THE PUBLIC! We strongly urge all our loyal fans, friends, and family to make the trip to DC and attend the show. This could be a big turning point for the Gang! Don’t miss it!”

I took this fromt he Woodbox Gang’s website, www.woodboxgang.com, where you can also listen to mp3’s and check out the dudes! From what I have read by many of you, you would so totally dig Southern Illinois’ finest!! Check them out!

And Mela, they would so dig a red haired cyber vixen checking them out!

Ah yes, Big Lebowski… so you’re A dude, but not The dude. I get it now… btw, Dude, you had me confused as hell that last thread about November the month not the dude. But, maybe that’s cuz we were talking about neko lap dancing and you started the sentence with “Come November”… Well, you see, how i could get crossed-up?

HC, I’ll make sure Mela gets there… oh wait, I can’t make sure Mela goes anywhere (you know, baby), but I’ll try. She’s still supposed to see Resident Evil…

Haircutter: Woodbox is just what the doctor ordered (not Dr. Ray. He has his hands full with the lovely/lusty Neko). Have you heard Forty Watt Bulb? [www.myspace.com/fortywattbulbband] Great music from Minnesota…its the midwest Babe, what else can you say.

Dude: DUDE! “This isn’t an official Mela Press Post” that’s perty darn close to callin’ it a “Ghost Blog”…That’s very un-dude like. That’s like micturating in her living room.

you’re micturating!

Dude: Dude! You have passed the mother of all Lebowski quizzes. You should be referred to as Dr. Dude, your Dudeship…something!

ghost blog, was originally my call as a gauntlet to goad Mela into getting off her ass and posting. And I know, I know, but as posts go, this is the postit note of posts.

mostly, cuz i like to guilt her, and it was like a month…

my brothers, i’m so feeling the love from you all! (”you all” is something they say here in the south. back in the midwest, we yankees just dont say stuff like that.)

in mel’s absence - while she’s swatting bugs way out in the Homeland (wherever that is) - feel free to continue to love me too much. in fact, i have annointed myself Blog Goddess in Charge until our intrepid heroine/hostess returns.

(Dr. Dude: thanks for confirming youre a dude.
(Dr. Ray: thanks for just being so damn charming.
(November (the dude, not the month): regret the lap dance thing threw you. i’m pretty mild-mannered in real life, but here in the ether, i can always be convinced to do a lapdance or a tango should the need arise … )

November, that is cool that you will escort the Finest to the show! Didjeridoo to ya! Did you check out their sound? I’d almost send you a cd if I had your details…

Stuck- Thanks for the shout and the 40 Watt Tip. Did you ever listen to SplitLip Rayfield? Good stuff, good stuff.

Neko- Here in the Midwest, we say you all, all the time. Down in the South, we say Y’all. Vernacularly yours, HC

Melanie, who in the goddamn posts about a bug being in her hair and gets 17 goddamn comments? (I’m shaking my head and smiling at you)

Love and Feathers,
AK

Neko,

Ahh, The Tango. The Heat. The Goddess. The Neko.

My day is starting well.

The Tango.

Por una Cabeza–popular tango song composed in 1935.

See True Lies or Scent of a Woman

Ladies, this should start your fires burning.
Guys, this is all you need.
Everyone else, it’s all good.

They don’t just call me Dr. Ray for my good looks and typing speed!!!!!

Haircutter:Thanks for the SplitLip…Lets say you and I stop pretendin’…come throw a leg over my Harley and lets go cause us a Ruckus

NEKO: You can’t have us all Baby.

Stuck in Kuwait,

You and Haircutter

Me and Neko

Then, we both sit back, open a bottle of Islay and enjoy the rest of the day. We could make history and just think, dear sweet Mela back in the homeland brought us all together.

Yo Stuck: and who says i cant have “you all” ?

it’s my world, dammit. you just live in it.

but, all things considered, i’m thinking i dig The Doctor the most. any man who knows tango music is way hot in my book. after all, it takes two to tango.

but the question is: can he lead … ?

The answer to your question, Neko, is very simple.

Yes.

Can you follow?

get a room.

Dear Stuck- I love nothing more than throwing my legs around big strong machines and taking a good long ride- and Ruckus is my middle name, I happen to have a man here in my homeland. Damn though, I would love to be able to entertain our service members. Service’s members? It would sure be fun to do!!! Pretendin’ is all what I got, sweet thang! With you in spirit, Ride on!

silly rabbit … of course i can follow.

(or was that a rhetorical question?)

Seriously, you guys, this has been the longest week of my life. My Self hates it when Mela abandons the blog.

NO.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

note to Midwestern 007–We know Mela is still out there–it will be fun (?) to see what she has to say about our adventures (?) in her blog in her absence.

Midwestern 007: I had to wait eight days between your last couple of posts. 8 DAYS!!! In dog years I nearly died.

Harumph!

Haircutter…you’re the Sweetest! If anyone asks me I’ll tell them you’re with us in spirit (in a tube top and leather pants).

Salud and Damn Straight, Brother! I’m cranking up some ZZTop in your honor right now, lightin’ up with a cold one!

Midwestern 007, why don’t you tell us all a little about your week? Hmmm? Just a pinch….?

as long as we’re just hanging around and talkin trash ….

hey November: what happened to some of the other guys who used to hang around Mel’s previous blog — Cold Truth; On Company Time, to name just a few. you knew them in real life, no? see if you can get them to drop by here for a visit sometime .

total non-sequitar/appropos of nothing …

do guys ever get lonely?

(just wondering. )

*ahem*

Neko,

Now, you call me out for sending some lovin to Mela and you start looking for a new suitor. All I ask is that you save the last dance for me.
While you’re dancing with another, I’ll just kill a bottle of champagne with Haircutter or Midwestern 007. Maybe even Amelia Kaos can take a short break from Baby Kaos for a night. No unfaithfullness suggested or implied, just some drinks and maybe a dance or two.
Now, to address the question about guys and loneliness. I think there is a difference between lonely guys (insert pathetic image here) and guys who understand loneliness. It’s not easy out there and it can be a cold world. You’ve got to reach out and be open. Maybe the first one (or more, let’s be honest) won’t be the one, but you have to keep trying.
If you can’t be with the one you love, baby, love the one you’re with (like the song goes)

hell no, Doc! i’m not out shopping around: just wondering what happened to some of the more memorable jokers who used to hang around this corner a while back. i’m a one-man cyber stalker: especially to anybody who can dance (we all have our weaknesses, and that’s one of mine).

p.s. i HATE that song. if i’m not with the one i love, then that’s it for me; i’m out.

afterall: you get what you settle for … and who would want that?

Neko,
glad to hear you’re a one-man woman; for after all is said and done, i’m a one-woman man. Some years back, my father had many women around him, partly due to his job and also his personality. My mother asked whether she was ever concerned. She said no, that the other women could look as much as they wanted, as long as they didn’t touch. Boy, did she ever know who she was! Now that I think of it, I do remember seeing my father dance with my mother and they were married for 62 years. Wow!
I do appreciate your comments. There was a women once for me, some years ago who is still with me in my mind and will never leave. But, I can dance with another–espcially one who is willing to tango. And, I am not willing to settle for just anyone.
Stuck in Kuwait and friends–I’m also ready to spend a night drinking Islay and have been even known to knock back a few boilermakers when the need is there!!!

You. Guys. Just to be clear, anyone making a move on Haircutter has to get past November first. He’s had dibs on her for a long time.

I’m just offering to buy Haircutter a friendly drink. Sometimes a drink is just a drink. Stuck and November can do their own thing.
Don’t worry, Neko. You have the last dance!

HC could use a drink. Last night, someone stole our daughter’s puppy from our yard! Lola is gone! So, we are busy…. damn it. Damn them! Mela- I have a question for you… what are you listening to these days? ok, must find Lola.

And oh yeah- Seriously. November, sweetie, this will hurt your eyes, but Something Something Up Their Butt. The DogNappers.

so, do i get to pick the last song for our last dance? before we get to the tango, i have a special request. not sure it’s dancing music, exactly (i’ve only heard it once in the car), but …. Gloomy Sunday, an acoustic version by Elvis covering an old Billie Holiday tune (who performed it in English after it’d been translated from Hungarian(!).

it’s slow & melancholy & perfect for a dimly-lit room late some evening with a scotch and cigarette in hand …

(oh wait: i dont smoke and i hate cigarette smoke. come to think of it, i’ve never managed to acquire a taste for scotch (even single-malt).)

(well, you get the idea.)

WHO THE FUCK STEALS A PUPPY FROM A LITTLE GIRL, GODDAMNIT??????!!!!!!!!!

I bet it was Chainey (I don’t want to spell his name correctly because Melanie and I are already on the watch list)… that dude is totally black-hearted.

I said I was a peaceful man, but I’ve got friends. If we find the puppy stealer, Stuck gets the first shot. Then, me and a few of my friends will get started. You don’t want to meet some of my friends in a dark alley. For real. No, really for real. Don’t piss off the wrong person. Enough said on this topic.

Moving on. Gloomy Sunday was written in 1933 and was first known as the Hungarian Suicide Song, composed by Rezso Seress. It’s very serious business. I’ve listened briefly to the Billie Holiday version, whose voice I do admire. Neko, you don’t have to smoke or drink scotch to appreciate this music or singer. Even Elvis is worth a listen from time-to-time. I can always find a bottle of good brandy.
I get the idea!!

one more comment. when I said I wrote technical documents and checked footnotes (for good pay), I never said what the documents were about or who read the documents. Puppy stealers from little girls get no mercy. NO MERCY!

It’s totally Cruela DeVille. Hope you get Lola back, HC.

… or it was Michael Vick.

Haircutter: Little-girl-dog-stealers have box seats on the fifty yard line of hell. Tell your little girl CPT “B” said so….

I hope the adorable Lola shits in their shoes!!

Dude: Dude, this has Carl Rove written all over it.

Punk thug mutherfuckers are who steal puppies from little girls. Lola is a gorgeous American Pit Bull Terrier, I hope she chews their shoes into bite size morsels. We found a section of our fence had been cut. The really sad thing, other than knowing we will not get Lola back, is that she was stolen by the very folks that had mistreated her and abandoned her two months ago. Word has it. Broken hearts reign supreme. Kid appreciates the support and condolences. Punks.

I hope Lola digs down to her pitbull roots and gets medieval on their asses. And I think it’s time to get vigilante. These people need an intervention.

Stuck/Kuwait — this is over to you (all) for action: call in air strikes! send out the predator! if you boys could hunt & kill al-Zarqawi et al, you should be able to track down a couple of low-rent, midwest trailer-trash dog-nappers, right??

Unleash Hell, dammit.

Oy vey.

Sex anyone? It’s a much better thing to talk about…

works for me.

well… then we could talk about this…

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/14264375/detail.html

… because it’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen.

Fuckin’ devil, always raping chicks and shit.